Every Little Things Ganna Be Alright

Where do I start?
I need to find a way to separate the friendship feelings and the romantic feelings. I dont think I can stop loving her. But it wouldnt be fair to her to hold onto feelings she doesnt reciprocate. I still very much want to be her friend. And I want to see her happy, more than anything else in the world. I feel like my heart is screaming at me because I love her and am willing to let her be happy with someone else. I feel like my mind is screaming at me to hold onto the romantic feelings because its so improbable that a relationship between them could last at all. Logically it says, he is young and foolish, he is still in highschool, she is going to be in college and getting a job, they will never see each other, he is christian she is buddhist his faith wont allow for such a thing. Doubt doubt doubt. I spent about an hour and a half walking and talking with sean tonight. I feel very much relieved of the pain and doubt. I know that I need to make peace within myself, within my heart and my mind, and my soul. This is something I can do. This is something I will do. I will do it for my own sanctity of mind. I will do it for my future friendship with her. I will do it because I want her to be happy. But also because I want to be able to feel happy for her.

Sean and I still have some things we need to discuss. I will talk with him tomorrow about them. As a side note I have decided I want to start going to the buddhist temple nearby for my meditations. And I want to speak with a mystic, at least to hear what he has to say. Tonight has been a very interesting night. I will find sleep easier this time. Though I hope to see more moonlight soon.