Im not really sure when it happened. At some point she decided she just wanted me to be one of those internet friends that doesnt really keep in contact. Maybe comments on photos and such, but really has no face behind the screen name. At the same time I was wanted to expand and do things beyond the screen names. I think thats where it started to go awry. Foresight and experience tells me just how things will play out. But all the same that isnt much comfort. Its a shame really. We are far from not even chatting anymore, let alone good nights. Honestly I believe it became a matter of her not caring anymore. But that is what happens in the minds of fools and the inexperienced. There seems to be a notion that one can just drop everything and expect anything except the reality of the situation. Such foolishness has only ever been described so perfectly by tom stoppard.
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
The sad thing is this isnt wisdom but rather an astute observation of the foolishness of human beings. I wish he had added a bit of wisdom to the message, something along the lines of reminding the world that we carry our burned bridges and that one must eventually come to terms with the baggage. I think I am beginning to see the disgusting side of nature that always seems to bother sean.
Oh well, this is no time to stay up late. School startup is always so chaotic, but this time my car broke down :(
Stupid cooling fan.
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