I finally realized why it bothers me so much to watch some people make foolish mistakes... its the parent factor. Parents deal with this kind of stuff. When their kids are growing up they make decisions that someone more experienced see's and wants to stop... but Ive always said that parents need to learn when its time to let their children make mistakes and fuck up their lives. Its easy to say that. But I am feeling the same way they do now.
I will learn from this so I dont have this problem when I am actually a parent.
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What sort of mistakes are you watching being made? Are they that of a child, or an adult? Are you sure you're being bothered because of it being a mistake, or because you have some other attachment to the situation? Is a single bit of it any of your business?
You may want to answer these questions for yourself, before you decide to refer to someone as a child or think that they're going to "fuck up their lives".
hmm a name I have no recollection of. I was purposefully vague because I didnt want to expose the life and times of certain peoples. But I will answer your questions as I ask them of myself.
The mistakes are those of adolescents trying to discover an adult world. They are mistakes Ive seen both of my sisters make, one of them is now 30 and the other 23. Ive got lots of experience observing and reading the tell tale signs of cause and eventual result.
The attachment I have is to the persons and in some case I have even more experience with the would be situations.
Is it my business? Like I mentioned in my post. You can tell a parent to let their kids make their own mistakes... but they are attached to them and want to see them succeed. So in reality its a realization that I can not hold them back from the edge, I need to make it none of my business. But I can be available to help them when they ask.
I very recently came across two cases. My brother in law fucked up his life, his kids lives, his wifes lives, all his relatives lives. I did everything I could to keep him from going over the edge... I couldnt stop him. But now several years later he and I are close again and he is being the man he was should have been.
Another case of recent. A friend of mine from high school ended up making some very poor relationship decisions and is now going through a very messy divorce. I knew both of them before they knew each other. I tried to tell him it was bad news, but he wouldnt listen. He threw away his friendships with everyone he knew. He was blinded by love. Now 4 years later he is being welcomed back into our circle of friends as we all know he needs our help and support. We will always have room for him and I plan to give him a big hug when I see him next.
You see Grey, its not that I havent asked myself these questions. I can see with immense clarity the effects people are going to have on each other. Its rather that I am beginning to better understand the reason people like me, or more experienced parents respond the way they do to these situations.
This post was meant as a personal growth for myself.. a better understanding of my own side of the matter. Not to belittle the people I see as children fucking up their lives, and how far down the future it will effect them. Regardless of whether they are or not.
However Grey you did challenge me to rethink some things and I appreciate that. I always appreciate challenging myself and my thinking. Thank you for your comment and I would like to hear more from you on other posts. You should check out my other blog little secrets of life, Id be interested to know your thoughts.
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