Camping

The camping trip was exactly what the doctor ordered. I got to meet a new circle of friends. None that I will ever be that close with myself, but new people are still a nice change of scenery. Being out in the forest gave me the perfect opportunity to stop and think about things.

The first night jordan and I left for Joanna's house. On the way there I realized I left my sleeping bag at home so I stopped by a fred meyer and bought a new one. Its this really sweet green color with a black V on it. It really was a good buy, its far warmer than my old sleeping bag. I did however forget my pillow so I had to do without.

Once Mike showed up at Jo's we packed everyone into her jetta and got on the road. The car was absolutely packed. Jordan and I were in back with all the gear that wouldnt fit in the trunk. We were sitting on three sleeping bags and had our backpacks in our laps. There was barely room to breath back there. I tried to listen to my iPod so I didnt have to listen to their music but my iPod had broken :( Joanna's driving scared me from the start but I had no idea what I was about to get into. Shes a totally crazy driver. At one point she was taking the offramp off I-84 at 70 mph with a full car plus several hundred lbs of gear. It was the first rain in a while so the road was slippery too. We started out taking that offramp halfway on the inside shoulder and by the time the road went straight again we were half way onto the outside shoulder with the tires screeching. An accident didnt really scare me so much, it was the impending doom that was the 5 gallon propane tank in the trunk that would blow us all to hell if she flipped the car. She would take many other turns like that on the way. I never want to drive with her again.

I decided to quickly send a text out to all my friends that I was probably not going to make it to tomorrow. Most of them responded with concern. I was actually really disappointed in priscilla, later she told me that she thought I was just saying crazy shit was going down, but even if thats all it is, its still crazy shit, a friend would be concerned if crazy shit was going down. But I guess I have come to expect that from her. To some extent shes a cool friend, but other times it seems like she goes out of her way to ignore me, which really just pisses me off.

Once we finally got there I got to meet the whole group. It was pretty much 4 girls and their respective boyfriends. The 4 girls have been a circle of friends since way back when, kind of like the sisterhood of traveling pants.

Linda-The only of the group I knew before hand. Shes pretty cool, very intelligent but still fun.
(Jordan)- My friend since third grade and boyfriend to Linda. I think the two of them are probably the best couple of everyone.

Joanna-The "Mom" of the group, she sets all the plans in motion and makes things happen. Shes also only 21, owns 2 houses, a few cars, and works for a bank. Everything about her screams motherly, her voice, attitude, laugh, everything.
(Mike)-Hes only been dating Joanna for a few months but he seems pretty stable. Hes mostly softspoken but he isnt shy either. His character is kind of an anomaly. I dont know how the two of them got together, he doesnt seem very much like a fatherly figure but they seem like they have been together forever, I was surprised to find out they had only been together a few months.

Erika-Im not really sure what to make of her. She makes a lot of stupid decisions, has a ton of facial peircings, she looks like the wife of the guy that sells blow to travoltas character in pulp fiction. She has a bit of a short temper and is easily offended. I kind of feel like I have to walk on pins and needles around her.
(Jeff)- Erika's boyfriend of one month. Jeff is the picture of a hippy in the 60s. Hes done every drug there is and likes to drink, this however doesnt make him unintelligent. He is a very smart guy if for no other reason than his life experiences. I actually liked hanging out with and chatting with jeff the most, until he tried to keep everyone awake all night on the second night. Not fun to have someone outside your tent talking to you when you are trying to sleep.

Mai-Lin- Nerdiest of the group. She likes anime, WoW, cats, nightmare before christmas. Currently single, at least for all intensive purposes. She has an "online" boyfriend that lives in georgia that she has never met irl. It was weird talking to her, she has all the same sort of outlooks on things and general thoughts as I do. It felt like I was talking to myself from one year ago. She is 21 but still very much seems like an 18 year old.

The group was a ton of fun. The second night mai-lin let me borrow her pillow since she had an air-matress. Thank god, the ground was killing me, Im still sore. A side note: Her pillow smelled like shampoo and noodles. A plesent aroma to fall asleep to if ever there was one. That night I had at least 5 different dreams, I couldnt really remember any of them but one. I was sleeping in my dream and I woke up to find two people I dont know watching me sleeping in a room that was very metallic. I dont know who they are, but if my other dreams have anything say in it then Id add that I will probably meet them in 2-4 years.

The second day we were there jordan, linda and I went on a hike around beautiful timothy lake. We found a tree with testicles. We chatted about a bunch of different things, I cant really recall them all now but it was the most I have ever spoken with linda before. When we got back I wrote some things down in a notebook I had brought so that I would remember to think about them later. They were:

What is it about a campfire that people can just stare at it for hours without saying a word? It just draws you into it somehow.

Consider exploring intent and projecting it in different ways

And then the dream thing.


After we had returned home jordan and I were talking about the whole event and how we both really needed it to get away from the house. Somehow we got on the topic of lindas friends. I had met the best of them, she has lots of other friends, but none of the others are really all that close, and they are all pretty crazy and bad friends in one way or the other. Thats the thing he said. "she has 3 or 4 friends that actually genuinly care about her". That got me thinking. Do I have any friends like that? Yeah I do.
Jordan
Tamsin
Zaamen
Alex
I have plenty of other "friends" but none of the others genuinely care about me. Which got me to thinking, I realized that I am the kind of person who genuinely cares about all of my friends, thats just who I am, the caregiver. But Ive been feeling lately like people are just returning my friendship with negativity and generally just ignoring me. I came to an impass. I dont want to have these negative friendships, but I really want to stay close to these people. I wasnt really sure what to do.
The night ended with those thoughts on my mind.